It’s all in your head: Spilling over high tea October 2016

What the mind believes, the body achieves. That’s what a little ring I bought at Target tells me, anyway. Does my mind believe that I’ll do well in a hot half marathon? Have I learned enough lessons from all the previous hot halfs I’ve run?

I’m not sure. I’m clinging hard to the memory of Redding Road race — while it wasn’t a scorcher, it was an unseasonably warm spring day, a hilly half, and a surprising PR (at the time).

Confessions of a Mother Runner

Today I am joining up with Coco and Deborah for their ultimate coffee tea date.

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you that while I’ve been pretty busy lately, it’s just been (mostly) sheer heaven to be home for a while. We won’t talk about the dust that is clinging to every surface; housecleaning is never my thing, but it had to take a big back seat when I was gone so much.

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you am mostly happy with what I see in the mirror these days. While I wish that it didn’t take a major dose of stress (and barely time to eat, or the desire to do so) to lose a few pounds, still, those few pounds on someone as vertically challenged as me makes a huge difference.

Alas, we are entering the time of year when I usually put on a few pounds. Not to mention all the travel I have coming up! I’ll take those pounds over stress any day, but seriously, this is the weight I have been aiming for forever (it feels that way, anyway).

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you that your mental game is so important. In running, in life, in just about every aspect of life.

My parents are not going quietly into that good retirement community. I am afraid they will be miserable, because, basically, they have made up their minds to be miserable.

It’s why I keep telling anyone who will listen start the process with your own parents much, much earlier. They are so unhappy, but they are also so unhappy in their own home.

Happiness is a choice, people. There are people far worse off than my parents. I pray they choose happy.

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you that while I very much doubt my upcoming half marathon will be a PR (or the 2 after that, either), I’m feeling pretty good about it. Training, as haphazard as it’s had to be, has gone well.

I feel good. I feel strong. I feel optimistic.

I might sing a different tune when I feel that AZ sun beating down on me!

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you I don’t know how you half fanatics do it. I feel like halfs in May, October, December, and March seem like quite a few . . . yet I don’t even come close to qualifying as a half fanatic at the lowest level.

I’d have to throw in a half in November — which just might be grounds for divorce, and it would be a shame to throw away 31 years of married life over halfs.

It’s really not shocking; I don’t race that much. Not nearly as much as some of my real life and blogger friends. So if you’re a half fanatic, my hat is off to you.

A little too trusting?

If we were enjoying high tea . . .
I’d tell you that while I’m happy that Lola decided that Bandit is okay, since he snapped at her I’m finding it a little disconcerting. Because she has absolutely no qualms about sniffing the same patch of grass as he does and getting into his space.

Maybe that should tell me something (other than the fact that Lola wasn’t really well socialized to other dogs, too).

Tea? Iced Tea? Coffee? Decaf? Or something else?

When was the last time a race surprised you?

What are some race goals you set that have nothing to do with finish time?

Do you believe you can choose to be happy?

24 thoughts on “It’s all in your head: Spilling over high tea October 2016

  1. My lack of racing leaves me only able to answer your first and last question. I go for tea and espresso. I love and geek out about both – better not get me started!
    I know you can choose happiness. It’s about the only thing one can truly impact and change … one’s attitude. I have no idea how to make other choose it.
    I have to say, I admire how you get through it all Judy and never give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Take your cue from Lola. πŸ˜€

    Sorry your parents aren’t accepting things very well. I have no advice. Not that you asked… but still… πŸ˜€

    And yes… I believe we can choose to be happy. Attitude is everything, :D, but I do need to work on my mental game during a race. I’ll get there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My parents are not happy. At all. And yet I really know it’s the right decision, there just comes a time when you have to accept you need help, and that time has come for my parents.

      I’d take my cue from Lola, EXCEPT — she wasn’t well socialized to other dogs as a puppy either (she was 10 months old when we got here). Add to that that she & Chester got along so well from day 1. Not that he never snapped at her, but it was different.

      And then today there was a real a$$hole walking his German Shepard off leash at the pet food store. We waited, we waited, we waited, and then I walked over there to nicely ask if he had a leash for his dog when he blew up at me (our theory was he was kicked out of the store because his dog wasn’t on a leash but we’ll never know). Thankfully they FINALLY walked off.

      Never a dull moments . . .

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Maybe Lola is just and understanding and forgiving kind of dog? 😊
    I agree about happiness being a choice, but like a lot of things it takes practice in order to be able to do it well and consistently. There’s a really good book by a man called victor frankl (mans search for meaning) who was a Jewish psychiatrist put into a nazi concentration camp. He describes the awful conditions that they lived in, and how one day after a day of hard labour, no shoes and feet in icy mud, there was a beautiful sunset and the men stopped to admire and enjoy it. That’s when he realised that no matter what they do to you, they can’t control inside your head, you can choose to enjoy.
    Your parents can only make that choice themselves, but sometimes we get bogged down and instead we choose to feel sorry for ourselves. Maybe we’ve had payback from being miserable, with love, sympathy and attention and we want that to carry on but don’t realise that we have gone over the limit!

    You can do your best, but you can’t do it for them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh yes, there’s a lot of martyrdom and feeling sorry for themselves going on. And some legitimate concerns. I try to be supportive, lend an ear, and push them in the direction I truly believe is the right one all at the same time.

      Very familiar with Frankl (I happen to be Jewish).

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dealing with your parents’ transition must be so stressful. It sounds like you are doing well stepping back a bit. Enjoy your days at home – the dust will be there when you get back. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My parents were definitely fine in their 70s. Even, I’d say, at 80.

      But not now.Definitely not. It’s really hard to see them so unhappy — they were pretty unhappy before, but now even more so. And it can be hard to stick to your guns.

      Yet I truly believe, in my heart, that it is the right decision. I pray I’m right.


  5. I believe that you have a say in your happiness. I think there are other things in play that can impact it but if you are focusing on being happy it makes it much easier. As someone who is impacted by depression and anxiety, I know that there are times I have to work harder to be happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lola is such a beauty! Yes I totally agree happiness is a choice. Life dishes up challenges but it’s our choice how we respond. I’m sorry your parents are making this difficult. Not fun for anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nope, definitely not looking for much fun there for quite some time, good thing I have a lot of other fun stuff going on in my life!

      Although sometimes that makes me feel a little guilty, too . . .


  7. Good luck in your upcoming race! I’m not a race fanatic these days anymore, the kids sports schedules just don’t allow me to race. That said, I’m still following a half marathon training program even though I won’t be doing a race at the end of it πŸ™‚ Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I 100% agree that you can chose to be happy or chose to be sad. My mother repeated that to me my whole life. Mind over matter !

    I think you will do great on your races. Even if training might have been a bit sporadic, you are in great shape so you will be fine.

    The aging process is hard. We had to move my MIL out of her house after my FIL passed away. It took years. It was a HUGE adjustment for her. As in over a year ! But she had adjusted…. we just kept focusing on the good points. But I agree, anticipate and talk about it with your parents early, so they will be mentally prepared.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish they could stay in their house, and that it was still a good life for them — but it isn’t. I know the coming months will be difficult, but I am still hoping that they will eventually see that it makes their lives easier.

      I hope, anyway!


  9. It might surprise you that I’m not a happy person by nature. However, I am an optimist, and I think that helps. I really really work hard at it. So yes, I do believe you can choose to be happy. It’s too bad your parents are choosing to be miserable. Life is too short. They might actually enjoy the place!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I usually am a happy person, but sometimes I’m not. Just like everyone. That upcoming irritable for WW is a good one. πŸ™‚

      Although I know it’s not the same, I point out that we moved here — and we didn’t want to. We loved where we lived, we loved our house (although our neighborhood actually was going downhill and it was probably a good thing that we got out of there).

      I didn’t know a soul here when we moved. NOBODY!

      So yeah, it’s not the same, but I know a little about how hard moving is. Of course they’ve also lived in that house half their lives — literally.


  10. I absolutely believe that happiness is a choice. I’m sorry your parents have been struggling…it’ s definitely something that I dread in the years ahead.

    Glad to hear that your training is going well, I’m sure you’ll do great on your races!

    Liked by 1 person

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