Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Part II

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Everyone has one: something they struggle with in their life. Usually their whole lives. Weight is definitely one of my struggles. Many of my local friends don’t really get it, because while they’ve seen the photos, they never knew me as a very heavy person, or it’s not a struggle for them. By the way, you can find the first post on this subject here.

Still, we all struggle with something. I read something recently — we all have speed bumps along our journey. If we didn’t, we might speed right into an accident.

Fairytales and Fitness

A little course correction
Like many people, I have times when I can easily maintain my weight. I have times when I really struggle to maintain my weight. Once in a blue moon, I even have time when the weight seems to just melt off of me.

I’ve had times in my life when I’ve been very sick. We all know that the weight we lose when we’re sick doesn’t stay lost, right?

Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s actually been the catalyst for weight loss for me, like my nasty stomach virus a couple of months ago. It was a speed bump that helped me in my journey toward a more comfortable weight for me, and also in a new direction: practicing intuitive eating. No tracking, just eating. I hope that I can continue to maintain my weight and intuitively eat what I need.

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You can keep your wine. Food’s my drug of choice!

Hitting reset
One of the hardest parts about losing weight is that we can’t eat the way we’ve been eating. There are plenty of programs that promise you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight, if you just eat it at midnight standing on your head and rubbing your stomach (or so it seems).

Fad diets never work, and truthfully, if I could just eat whatever I wanted and still lose weight — well, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have struggled with my weight as much as I have my whole life.

Whether we struggle with weight or not, we all need a little reset from time to time . We let foods that we know are not our friends creep back into our lives, because they taste so good and make us feel so good — temporarily. Except somewhere down the road we realize we really don’t feel so good.

Then it’s time to hit reset. Minimize the foods that aren’t your friends, maximize the foods that are (this is different for every body). Never starve yourself, never cut out a whole food group, and never beat yourself up when you slip up: it’s all part of the journey — remember the necessity of speed bumps?

What do you need to hit reset on?
It’s not just food that people need to hit reset on. Maybe you stay up too late. Maybe you’re on your devices too much. Maybe you buy too much. Maybe you exercise too much. So many things can give us pleasure when done in moderation, but cause us pain when we go overboard. Then it’s time to hit reset!

What’s gotten out of moderation in your life?

Do you practice resets on a regular basis? 

Any reset tips? 

25 thoughts on “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Part II

  1. This is an easy one. Though it’s never been my weight.

    Used to play tennis everyday and on too many teams.

    Then there was running and racing. I’ve cut back on that too.

    Both interfered with spending time with family and friends.

    The big one for me has always been money. It’s been a struggle my whole married life to pay the necessities and still have fun. That now means saying NO to all the Skirt Sports and shoes that I just want but could do without. Not joining a tennis club or getting a running coach. Even saying NO to Starbucks. Sigh.

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      1. Not true. Actually I did consider a few local ones (like my friend Judith whom I spoke to about it) but I didn’t want to spend the money (we have a lot of home repairs – new roof, trees cut down, etc etc). However, I did not consider paying $$ for one that was only online.

        I agree. As they say money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s hard to think about it all the time. Would love to travel more….

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  2. Yes, I also have times where the weight stays really stable and I don’t really have to think about it. The last 5 years have been a lot harder for me. I blame hormones but that doesn’t fix it. I try to mix up my diet more and get rid a few items that I don’t need on a daily basis. I am trying to keep sweets out of the house. I tend to do resets in Sept a lot. However, I am currently on a push to lose my vacation flub. Sorry for the rambling!

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    1. Yes, hormones really wreak havoc on weight for most of us in our 40s & 50s! Getting older is not easy. I really admire people who lose weight on vacations. I think it happened to me once, LOL!

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  3. I have really struggled with my weight this past year. When you are “shorter” people just assume you are “tiny” even though that may not be the case. My activity level has drastically decreased and my eating habits have not been good. I was hoping to get back on track this summer but I am already a week into summer break and I’ve done zip about it!

    Thanks for linking up with us!

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    1. Hayes, most people don’t get the extra challenge of weight & being vertically challenged. I sure do. Just a few lbs makes a huge difference in how clothes fit for me.

      Don’t beat yourself up; always unproductive. Think about why you want to change & then just pick one thing to work on. You’re having a very stressful time, I know, and stressing out about weight won’t help.

      And when you’re tempted to eat something that probably won’t serve you, think HALT: am I hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Also, would an apple satisfy me? Sometimes just thinking about those things — not even necessarily actually doing anything different — can really shift your mindset.

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  4. Food is one of those things for me too. I’ve really struggled with trying to eat just when I’m hungry and not over eating. I’ve had a bad habit of eating out of boredom in the past. Definitely continuing to work on that.

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  5. wow! That is a great question, Judy. What do I need to hit reset on? Since I changed my diet to exclude added sugar, I am losing weight. At first, I was happy about it, now I am kind of scared. I don’t really want to lose any more weight. I stepped on the scales this morning and I had lost another pound. I think I might have to visit my doctor to see if there is something wrong with me. I guess that brings up what I need to hit reset on: my worrying! Something I struggle with a lot.

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    1. Sugar causes us to really hang onto water (carbs too, which of course convert to sugar anyway). My guess is you’re fine — maybe you still need more healthy fats or even more protein. The body does have a way of evening itself out, too.

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    2. I think when we are older, we tend to worry more about our health. So many things that can go wrong. That being said, if you lose weight for NO reason, I would see a doctor. But as Judy said, you are probably fine.

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  6. I needed to hit reset on my thoughts about weight – so I went and saw my old therapist. Sometimes a bit of help goes a long way!

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  7. I am having major struggles with my mom. Although I love her, I do not like her much of the time. She’s really brash, says a lot of inappropriate stuff (that she thinks is funny), but it ‘s actually pretty hurtful and rude. I have a lot of sociology/psychology background, so I find myself rationalizing her behavior (because she simply does not know better), but that’s frustrating, too LOL And, I know she will not be around forever, so I’m trying to ignore the rude stuff and focus on the good…but that’s exhausting.

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    1. It’s really good that you’re trying to be there with your mom. My sister does what must be done with my parents, since she lives so much closer, but otherwise she tries to avoid them because it is difficult & it’s very depressing. And I think when they’re gone she’ll regret that.

      You mom sounds something like my dad . . . He is a really a difficult man. And it’s gotten much worse as he’s aged. Sometimes you just have to laugh about it or you’ll cry!

      Even my mom recently came to her breaking point with him, which is actually a good thing, as she finally acknowledged that they need an aide.

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  8. For the second time in my life (college was the first), I’m struggling with my weight. Damn menopause. I’ve really changed my diet and am watching what I eat. Of course, my downfall is wine/beer. It’s a struggle because I’m not one to overdo it.

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    1. I’m actually pretty careful with what I eat most of the time too. It can definitely be really frustrating. I’ve struggled most of my adult life, though — it’s really only the last 6 year’s or so that I’ve mostly maintained a healthy weight. And I got there mostly by working on the mental side of things.

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  9. Right now, I feel the most balanced I ever have. Weight was always a struggle with me growing up. I was obese through childhood and much of college. Unfortunately, food was a shield, a comfort and a weapon for me, and I found myself in a cycle of anorexia, bulimia and excessive exercise, which left me severely underweight and unhealthy. With therapy and a bit of self-love, I’ve pretty much settled where I’m at. I’m free from worrying about the scale or calories, but I try to eat well and stay active. Some days are harder than others, but being strong and healthy for myself and my family are my priorities.

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    1. That’s wonderful that you’re in such a great place! I’m always inching my way over that way, but there is still work to do.

      I did binge when I was a teenager/young adult, but thankfully never purged, and it’s been many years since I have. The self love is so important!

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  10. My massive struggle is with my own self-esteem, I still carry a lot of baggage from my growing up and sometimes it still comes to bite me (e.g. on Father’s Day). I need to hang on to the pride I got from running my scary race today and keep that close. I’m working really hard on bedtimes and making some progress there, which also helps with mental health. Interesting and honest post, thank you!

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    1. Glad it spoke to you, Liz! I definitely still struggle with self esteem as well. I think many women do.

      Sorry Father’s Day was hard for you! It’s hard, but we need to get to a place of compassion for our Dads; it’s really more for our own sake than ours.

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  11. I always need to reset my sleep habits. I love getting up super early, but I hate going to bed so I often ended up with around five hours sleep per night (sometimes less). I’ve gotten much better recently so I’m getting closer to six hours now. I try to sleep a little later on the weekends… Weight has also become somewhat of a struggle now that I’m north of sixty. I really have to be careful with what I eat because I don’t want to have to go out and buy new clothes.

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