Every New Year’s for the last few years, I think to myself, this year will be better. Every year seems worse than the one before that! I started detailing all the stuff that’s happened in the last five years, but truly, it just sounded whiny to me. It’s never been all bad, and I absolutely try to focus on the good.

You have to feel your feelings, too, though. Yes, I have friends who have gone through things much worse than me, but a wise friend once told me it’s your stress, and she was right.

Truthfully I don’t think this pattern will change in 2022. I knew in my heart — and told my spouse, siblings and some friends — early in 2021 that I didn’t think my mom had much time left, long before she broke her hip. She may stabilize with Hospice care — or not — but I just want to see her made as comfortable as possible for as long as possible and be able to stay in her apartment and enjoy the activities she still loves.

So 2021 brought no races, not in real life, and not virtually. I didn’t need that stress, and frankly, I also prefer to wait until life is a bit more normal. I have, as I have many times in the last three years, spent half a year going back and forth, doing my best to help my mom, and even with the vaccines, that wasn’t easy and I couldn’t be there as much for her as I’d like to be, with visitation at hospitals and rehabs still often restricted.

Of course there were also many bright spots in 2021 — you always have to look for the silver linings! We took our first couple of short trips in more than two years. We have managed to remain healthy. We have a roof over our heads, and plenty to eat. I took a foam rolling course and earned my level one Coach’s certificate from RRCA. A new treadmill is on its way. We continued to do daytrips, too, discovering some new lovely places.

In fact, I scrolled through my photos from 2021 recently — so many new places visited, and of course old favorites revisited.

Mileage has been low, but I keep on moving. There are benefits to that lower mileage — some of the annoying aches I had disappeared. Some quickly, some took their sweet time, some seem to like to revisit but for the most part my body is in better shape with less pounding (although maybe a few extra pounds).

Although none of us know how much time we have, there is time for me to race in the future, but the time for being with my mom is dwindling.

My daily (sometimes twice a day) Yoga practice is a habit now. It was almost a streak, although I didn’t keep track. I missed a few days here and there, but I can count them on one hand. I didn’t really set out to have a daily practice last year, but I’m grateful that I established that. My body appreciates it — and my mind too. Just like running, I feel so much better after I practice Yoga.

December Goals:

• Run 3 x week. Y. Mostly. there was one week I only ran 2 times. It was the best I could do that week.
• ST 3 x week. Y/N.  ST was kind of hit or miss this month. I did better than November — I managed at least 2 x week, falling short of my 3 x week one week, I think.
• Continue to work on Spring Challenge. N. I’ll be bringing this one back in December! 
• At least one hike. Y. Actually this wasn’t a goal — but I did it! I explored new places on my own on the way to or back from my mom. I did not get lost.
• At least one real rest day a week. Y. I need them, I really do. Often something just crops up, usually something to do with my mom, and it ends up being far more stressful than restful.
• Continue to try to eat intuitively — unless the weight starts to creep up. Y. Weight is better. Still room for improvement, to be sure, but feeling more comfortable in my clothes. 

Which leads me to January Goals:

• Run 3 x week. There could be a little running break sometimes in the future, but I’m trying to hold out until it’s really necessary. It’s not like I’m running a whole lot anyway.
• ST 3 x week. I will settle for 2 x week if necessary. 
• Continue to work on a new Spring challenge. There was a lot of time spent at my mom, but while I don’t expect that to change, I’m hoping at some point I’ll have time to work on stuff for me.
• At least one real rest day a week. In normal times this isn’t at all difficult for me — I enjoy rest days! For the foreseeable future this may be difficult, but it’s so important.
• Continue to try to eat intuitively — unless the weight starts to creep up. I was in a happier place with my weight in November & December. Winter can be a challenge but what’s life without a challenge, right?

Looking Forward
Sometimes you have to look back to look forward. I gave five reasons why clear was my word for 2021. How did I do?

2021:

• Clear my mind regularly. Y. I’ve been meditating a long time, and yes, it’s a mostly daily habit. Sometimes twice a day. It makes such a difference! For instance I get white coat syndrome and my blood pressure tends to go up at the doctor. I get there early, I meditate, and lately my BP at the doctor reflects what it normally is for me at home.
• Clear away the clutter. Y/N.  Despite efforts to tackle the clutter again, it crept back in. Half of this year I was frequently away from home for days at a time. On the other hand, I did bag up and donate a lot of clothes — of course I bought new clothes at the end of the year. Those end of the year sales always seem to get me! I think the scales are tipping more to the clear away side, though.
• Clear away what is not serving me. Y/N. I think I did clear away some thoughts (but not all) that aren’t serving me. 
• Be clear on my goals. Y. This blog definitely helps me to be clear and accountable for my goals!
• Cue Yoga classes clearly. Y/N. Cueing comes naturally to some people; me, not so much. I haven’t had the opportunity to teach as much as I’d like. I’ve even tried to teach Mr. Judy, just for practice. Let’s say that lasted about a day.

I detailed my goals for my 2022 word (compassion) in this post here. I’m not really big into goal getting at the moment, life continues to be uncertain for the forseeable future. Things crop up I have no control over. Sometimes go with the flow is the more compassionate thing to do.

Linking up with Zenaida Arroyo and Kim @ Kookyrunner

This week I am also joining up with the new Runners’ Roundup linkup.