This week I’m Thinking Out Loud about what a bad daughter I am. I’ve always believed we ended up moving to NY, at least partially, because my parents were elderly and that made us much closer to them (although it doesn’t explain why my inlaws moved away from the east coast to the west coast when we moved up here!).
Whatever. It’s my blog and I’ll believe what I want to.
How often do you visit your folks?
When we lived in TX, the answer was not often. My folks lived in NY.
Then we moved to NY. And my parents are quite elderly. I swear the minute we leave, my mom is asking when we’re coming to visit again. Assuring me the bed is waiting for us.
We now live 90 minutes away. Which is more like almost 2 hours, since we usually took the dogs, and now of course it’s just Lola. And while Lola doesn’t have the health issues Chester had, trips in the car other than around town make her nervous, so we need to make a pitstop.
And so naturally we’re planning to bring her to ME with us for my next half. (And don’t forget to use JLitt to get $5 off the registration for Shipyard Maine Coast Half).
We usually go down about once a month, but that depends on what’s going on in our lives and the weather. If we stay overnight it’s basically a lost weekend. Once a month.
So seriously, I’m curious, how often do you see your folks? How close or far away do you live from them?
Traveling with food
And because my mother rarely serves healthy food, yes, I often travel with my own food. It depends on how much I’m running, where my weight is at, and how long we’re staying.
This weekend I brought the makings for a microwave breakfast cookie in a mason jar (all I had to add was half a mashed banana and 1 tbsp milk) and lentil vegetable soup (also in a mason jar).
Very glad I did . . . bagel and lox was on the menu for breakfast. It’s my mom’s go-to for company. She know my husband likes it (and she stocks diet coke for him, too). Bagel and lox is not a great breakfast for me if I’ve only run 3 miles.
Part of why I pack the healthy food is because I knew we were going out to dinner, and I had every intention of ordering a not-so-healthy meal. Which I did . . . and enjoyed every bite (while not actually consuming the whole thing).
All that packing
So now it’s just one dog, but I swear it didn’t make going away for just one night any easier: food, supplements, treats, kongs, bed, crate, harness, leash, coat . . . geez, it’s like mobilizing an army.
And because one day was cold and the next was warmer and I was running — yeah, I brought an entire suitcase (small; it fits in the overhead). I really admire people that can just throw some stuff in a backpack, but you put in those running shoes, a pair of Sketchers boots that could double as slippers and which I ended up using when I walked Lola (again and again and again), my running journal, my running clothes . . .
I can travel light, but only if I’m not running, and I’m always running!
I slouch
Like, a lot.
I find myself walking around the house, doing chores, and realizing I’m slumped like a little old lady.
I pull myself up when I realize it, but it seems like just a few minutes later I get involved in something and I’m slouched again!
Not good.
If I’d lived in the 19th Century . . .
No doubt not only wouldn’t I be running, I’d also be working my fingers to the bone while my husband studied talmud (ever seen Yentl?).
Because that was the mindset: the women worked, the men studied.
I swear my mother-in-law still has that mindset, despite not being very religious at all. But she believes it’s a woman’s job to take care of her husband. My mom raised all of us to be pretty independent.
I try to lead by example, but I’m also of the opinion that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
It’s been a month . . .
. . . since we said goodbye to Chester. So hard to believe. The crying is over, but I still miss him every day. I know, from experience, that won’t always be the case, but it’s likely to be the case for a long, long time. I think it took at least a year when we lost Simba before I stopped thinking about him everyday.
Just yesterday UPS came by to deliver something and the house was quiet, and while the barking was annoying, now I miss it. Yesterday was also the first time I slept without Chester protecting me, as my husband was away overnight on a business trip, in 10 years.
I stopped by the cardiologist’s office to donate what was left of his meds (a lot). One med he was on was hydrocodone, which is a controlled substance. You could only get a month’s supply at a time, which was a pain, because even though we got it at a regular pharmacy, we had to go every month. And now I need to call them so they can stop calling us to remind us to refill it.
And then you can’t donate the remaining pills! That just seems silly to me. Why can’t they just count them and put them back into the pharmacy? It’s not like they compound the pills themselves. I have to throw them out. Such a waste.
Can you travel lightly when you’re running?
I’m linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for her:
I also like to bring food when I travel too because you never know what options you will be faced with!
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Unfortunately with my mom, I know it won’t be healthy options!
But I travel with food everywhere. On planes, in the car . . . love your blog, btw!
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I love your suitcase.
My folks have both been gone a long time, my Dad since 1984, my Mom for nine year.s Sorely missed.
Your microwave breakfast looks good.
Until I met my husband, I tended to be a doormat. Different background from you, but same mentality: always put yourself last. My husband helped me not only to become more independent, but to stand up for myself and that I count, too.
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I’ve never been a doormat. I’ve surprised quite a few people over the years with the whole still waters run deep thing.
I may be shy, but that doesn’t mean you can walk all over me either!
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I live about 20 minutes away from my parents, so I’m usually over there once a week for dinner to catch up. I haven’t always had the greatest relationship with them, but things have definitely gotten better now that I’m older and out on my own. And I hear you on the slouching. I try to be conscious of it, but I’ve been doing it for so long that I tend to fall into it without even noticing. I need to write myself a sticky note and put it on my computer screen or something…
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I did read an article the other day talking about those waist wraps or whatever they’re called, and how they help you with your posture because you simply can’t slouch.
That’s a little extreme though . . .
I think I’m glad I don’t live that close to my folks! But it would be nice to have visiting them not suck up an entire weekend, too. Well, we’re not moving down there!
I get along well with my mom; my dad drives me kind of insane.
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We live in the same state as our parents, but it varies how often we see them. With a toddler, sometimes I just have them come to us. I try to see my dad at least twice a month since he’s pretty close and his days off are when my husband works, so I usually spend the who day with him and he hangs out with his grandson. We’ve been visiting my MIL every weekend since she just had surgery and can’t drive though. Before my son was born, visiting and seeing our parents felt a lot less of a priority, but now we want him to know his grandparents well growing up.
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My parents can’t drive up here any more, and frankly, that’s a good thing. I get along well with my mom, and she’s no problem, but having my dad here drove me insane!
You should let your dad take your son so you guys could have a break!
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Unfortunately, I can’t visit my folks anymore….well, I can visit the crypt, I guess. We used to see Greg’s parents frequently when they lived in the area but now that they’ve moved to NV, we rarely do.
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Well, they chose to move away, right?
The interesting thing is my MIL never acts like my mother does, despite the fact that we see her far less frequently for obvious reasons.
My parents’ plot is on Long Island, where their son (the brother I didn’t know) is buried.
So sadly we are unlikely to be visiting there a lot when that time comes.
But I do believe we carry them in our hearts, anyway. Hugs!
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Bringing food when you travel makes it so much easier to not have to stop, and it keeps my stomach happier. Traveling definitely reminds me to be flexible.
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Well, we do have to stop for Lola anyway. But it’s a short stop. Still kind of a pain, but there ya go.
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It’s only been a month with Chester… I know better that, unfortunately, the crying isn’t over, but maybe now it can be more happy, focusing on the good times. You’ve made me very hungry with your pictures! My mother is 79 and lives up the road from me. I see her once a week to take her grocery shopping and check on her, but she loves to be alone.
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Now, I think the crying is probably mostly over. I’m not a big cryer usually.
Sometimes there are happy memories, of course, but the mornings when he’s not pressed up against me — that’s hard every single day. 😦
My mom will be 88 shortly, my dad is 90. They are always complaining how little they see us & how much they miss us.
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It’s hard with elderly parents. I know they live for special visits. 😦
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My parents are actually still very vital and going & doing more than I do!
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Ohmigosh! That’s so wonderful! You are so very blessed!
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Although, on the other hand, their circle of friends is dwindling rapidly and most of their best friends have moved away to be nearer to their families. 😦
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Ohhh, sad, 😦
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My mom doesn’t have any healthy options either. She lives just under an hour away. My in-laws are in NC, thank heavens, but not far enough. Haha! I can travel light with running stuff IF I wear my running shoes.
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I don’t like to wear my shoes on a plane cause it’s a pain taking them on & off.
My MIL is clear across the country, but she doesn’t act the same way. She’s younger than my parents but no spring chicken either. At least she has my SIL there, which is why she moved out there anyway.
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