Every year I choose a word to focus on; a word of the year, if you like. Unlike some years Strong didn’t just pop into my mind, but I have a feeling that I’m going to need to be Strong in 2020. Of course we always need to be strong, but I have a feeling it will be a challenging year, which seems to be my norm for the last few years.
Strong for family
Although we brought my Dad home, it has not been going well. His dementia continues to worsen, and he continues to try to walk on his own, which has resulted in many falls. Even with an aide, it’s just too much for my 91-year-old mother and we are looking to move him to a nursing home. Somehow I will have to find the way to tell him that he needs to be there, and I’m not sure how I will do it; he will not understand.
Strong in Patience
This one is tied to dealing with my family. It takes a lot of patience. Patient with my Dad. Patient with my mom, who needs someone to vent to and someone to help her make decisions she doesn’t want to make. Essentially she has already lost the great love of her life, even though he is physically there. Patient with my sister, who is also tired of being the point person when there are hospital trips.
Strong for friends
I have a few friends going through tough times. Some struggling through some of the same issues as me, some through illnesses.
Strong in confidence
I am planning to start up a Youtube channel. At first I thought I’d wait until 2020, but I realized that that’s just fear of putting myself out there. It is definitely scary. I have some things I’d like to get out for people to use during the month of December, so it’s time to bite the bullet and just do it.
Strong in determination
I have plans and dreams and it will take strong determination to bring them to fruition.
Have you ever picked a word to concentrate on for a year?
Do you have a 2020 word? What is it?
Have you ever had to work on the fear of putting yourself out there?
Looking back and forward
There was only one half in 2019. There may only be one half in 2020. Running was on the back burner for much of the year, but running continued to be strong with PRs here and there (and really close almost PRs!). No injuries, knock on wood. One trip to the ER. Completing my YTT (Yoga Teacher Training) and teaching some yoga.
After being very sick in the Spring, I felt I needed to work on my running endurance so I stopped using run/walk intervals. I walk each mile to drink water and eat something on long runs. I still run/walk up steeper hills, because I’ve found that works better for me than running up them. Sometimes I just walk towards the end because I’m tired — and I always regret it when I do that!
One mile felt really long at first. Heck, some days it still feels really long! I seem to be doing well with it, though. I didn’t run a half after I’d ditched the intervals, so I’m not sure what I will do when that day comes again.
We lost Gizmo at the beginning of 2019, but he had a good, long life and was only seriously ill a short time before we helped him cross the rainbow bridge. I told my brother early in 2019 that I felt my Dad was going downhill, slowly but surely. He still is, obviously. It’s been a very stressful time for the whole family.
Here was my prediction for 2019:
Here’s what I believe about 2019: no matter what happens in 2019, with the right attitude, I will love 2019, I will accept the highs and the lows, and no matter what life throws at me, this too shall pass.
2019 was a hard year. I don’t think I can say I really loved it, but I did accept the highs and the lows, and yes, there was both. I believe that my Dad most likely won’t see 2021, and that is a blessing; and if that is the case, I hope it’s peaceful.
I know no matter what 2020 will be a difficult year, again filled with highs and lows, and again, I will do my best to be strong for my loved ones — and for myself. I will rejoice in the highs and accept the lows and what they may have to teach me. I will take whatever curveballs life throws at me and become a stronger person because of them.