Have you seen the memes? The ones about not living your life in fear because of Coronavirus?
This is a highly personal post, and one I put a great deal of thought into. It would be much easier to not to write this post, but in the end, I felt it was important for me to share my feelings.
I am not saying you should live your life in fear; of course you should not.
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.– Marie Curie
How ironic is the above quote from Marie Curie, who died from her work and her quest to understand more. In fact, her body is actually still considered to be radioactive — but I digress.
Being cautious is not the same as being afraid
Some people equate changing your life because of a virus as living in fear. Everyone has different circumstances, and everyone has different comfort levels. Don’t ever assume you know what is going on in someone else’s life unless they tell you or you ask.
Do you have loved ones with high blood pressure? Diabetes? Cancer? Maybe a combination of several of these illnesses? Ones that are also very elderly? I do. Am I afraid of infecting them? Damn right I am. It is my sincere wish that when my mom passes, it’s not after months of being in and out of the hospital/rehab like my dad, or alone because of a virus.
I am not telling you to stop living your life, but please don’t judge me because I changed my life to protect the people I love. It isn’t easy. I’d like life to be normal, too. I’d like to go on vacation, too. I would love to eat inside a restaurant and be served. I’d like to be running with a group. I’d love to go to the movies.
I’ll tell you what else I’d lovee: to see my mom enjoy the years she has left. To see my other loved ones at higher risk be healthy and have many more years ahead of them. We won’t have to live like this forever. We will, as Marie Curie said, learn more. We already have. There are already better treatments.
Like so many diseases before this, such as pneumonia, polio, and AIDs, there will eventually be vaccines or even better treatments that allow us to get back to more normal living. Until that time, though, I remain cautiously optimistic and just plain cautious.
Final Thoughts
I am not telling you how to live your life, and I appreciate you not telling me how to live mine. All I ask is that you respect my feelings, and show me (and those like me) compassion. Reach out to your friends that don’t feel comfortable getting together in groups, whatever their reasons are. It isn’t easy and it can get lonely, too.
Please, please, please show respect and compassion to those have lost loved ones to this virus. Don’t know anyone who has? I do. I know others that do, as well. I am happy that so far, knock on wood, my loved ones are safe, but there are many people who can’t say the same.
No questions today. It’s all food for thought.
Chocolaterunsjudy 
Friends respect their friends’ feelings and show compassion even when they disagree. If they do not, they are probably not really your friends. Just saying.
OTOH, respect goes both ways.
Those that choose to protect themselves and others from COVID-19 differently need respect too
Seeing friends and going to restaurants (and now movies) does not mean that they do not care about their loved ones.
As you know I run with my friends and even went on vacation with them. And I feel safe.
I have a 95 year old mother-in-law, a pregnant daughter-in-law and a friend with cancer. I love them all and do not want them to get sick. I don’t feel that I have jeopardized them at all.
I also have a BFF who feels as you do. So we make the effort to stay in touch. First with texts and Facetime and now we walk weekly outdoors (apart with masks). We BOTH have to make the effort. It cannot be one-sided. There cannot be excuses not to ZOOM or meet-up.
Sorry for the rant.
Though unintentional on your part, it felt personal.
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This post was actually written a while ago. You’re allowed to feel as you feel, but as I wrote, it wasn’t directed towards any one person.
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I was just talking about this yesterday with another friend. It is so important to respect others actions around all of this even if we do not agree with what they are doing. We all have different comfort levels and none of us really know what the right thing to do is. Compassion and respect is never wrong. I would also extend this whole thing to the the election as well
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You’re so right about extending it to the election, Deborah! Also not easy to do. 😦 I actually didn’t see the debate (I don’t stay up that late), and didn’t see the news this morning, either, as I had to unexpectedly take Lola to the vet. She’s ok. Sort of, anyway.
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You are right, Judy, everyone has a different situation and a different comfort level.
As long as people’s behaviour is not putting others outrageously at risk, there is no reason to be judgmental.
I worry about my elderly parents. To a certain degree, they are socially isolated. So far, we could meet them outdoors. But with winter approaching we might have to think about wearing masks.
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We are finally allowed to go & visit my mom in her apartment, with lots of restrictions.
And I will do that, as it’s going to turn a lot colder next week, but I’m still struggling with what is the right amount of time to stay. It’s not exactly a short drive, and I know she’d like to visit for the allotted 2 hours, but that seems to long inside even masked. 😦
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This so well & beautifully written, Judy. I can tell you took great care in keeping your words gentle and non-confrontational. This is such a tough time. As you eluded, we all have different situations and experiences that will affect how fearful we may feel or act. I am trying to stay positive, and embrace the big picture…this will not last forever, and we will get through it. We just have to soldier through the storm for the time being, and make wise decisions as we do so. Thinking of you, and your family, Judy ❤
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Thank you, Kim. I appreciate your kind words. I totally agree that this won’t last forever!
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I understand that people have different risk factors and comfort levels, but I have no patience for people who think this is a hoax or refuse to wear a mask in indoor public spaces. We’ve got to stop the spread somehow, and it’s not a matter of “personal freedom” when your behavior puts my health at risk!
That said, and While I am pretty conservative about what I do, my husband is even more so. He doesn’t want me to use the “walk” signals at stop lights (even if I use a corner of my shirt” but I think there’s a great risk of getting hit by a car than catching covid from that surface. 😉
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Unfortunately I had to spend time at the animal ER with Lola yesterday. Still not 100% sure what is wrong. Granted the staff comes outside to get the animals, but I was still shocked that almost no one wore a mask.
I had read somewhere a long time ago that those walk signals are on timers, and pushing them doesn’t really do anything. Not sure if that’s true, but I stopped pushing them a long time ago.
Luckily most of where I run I’m not crossing by a light, but sometimes I am. I just wait. Or look to see that it’s clear. 🙂
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Such a well written post Judy! I am SO fearful for my grandparents. My Nana is 90 and has already been in and out of the hospital twice this year. I am so worried about myself and other relatives visiting my Pap now that we’ve all gone back to school ( and have been around lots of people). I know it’s unreasonable to expect people to stay away from their elderly parents, so this is just tough. I just pray people make good decisions. I hope your momma is doing well, and Lola too!
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My mom is 92. I am fearful for her, but I also recognize that she has had a good long life. I just want her to go peacefully, and not be alone.
It’s very difficult making the right decisions when you know that you’re in contact with a lot of people. My sister works at Old Navy, so having her visit my mom inside is worrisome, but at the same time, my mom needs that. So sometimes you just have to have faith that things will work out ok.
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